over the weekend, emails shot to one another like darts....i was in the loop...n tings just seem more than meets the eye after todae's whole dae meeting....just felt uneasy....sth is brewing betw the other two oics, pc n us....felt it was rather unnecessary....dey kinda drop hints dat tis is called advocating....hmm...wondered wad it meant....told yh n she seemed oblivious to all that...haiz...
felt evil when i sent 2 emails out just now...not to compete in tis email war...but dat it was more of my responsibility to check on them....if not careful, tis could mean like a personal attack...realli haf to be extra careful when handling such hr stuff...gd ting i din go into hr field...
it's realli tiring to kip tabs on others....to poke into everyone's business....n end up wif the comment "these daes u like quite slow...nid to step up...." i din wan to respond too much to all these stuff....cos sometimes i realli feel i'm an oic in name...=( all the petty tings i haf to deal wif....impt decision making roles r given to others to deal wif....so dat makes me more or less the nosey parker in the office rite....=(
never mind....in 15 more daes....pc gone....4 more mths s gone....n along the wae it sounds from my pc dat more r gg too...scarie news but i guess we can onli cross the bridge when we reach....haiz...
everyone kept asking me if i'm ok todae...thot i looked pale or sth....but one colleague said...u just looked different....like there's sadness on ur face...well....mabbe i wasnt all smiles cos din get to see my class big part of the dae....n tmr as well....
but felt quite appreciated when w came over n pulled my arm to insist dat i go supermarket wif the class...tho my other 2 colleagues were there to take over my class liao...=) but tis other oic kept giving the remark that i'm like my class boys' mummy oreadi....dunno if that meant to be a joke or sarcasm....okok...mabbe i shld b like my other oic...."i dont wan to tink to deep into it"...i must adopt dat kinda nonchanlance attitude sometimes.....n i realli hate myself fer being too observant too....leaving myself in a spot now.....haiz....
it's amazing how the few of us cld stare at all the names of the staff n students the whole dae n not decided on aniting...tmr haf to look at it again....allocating teachers to classes is realli a tuff job....haf to take care of teachers' gum-ness, characters, matching energy levels to the class's, availibility to work in either session, special requests to work with or not work with someone, ability to work wif higher support needs students, past experience....gosh....it's like a puzzle dat doesnt fit well...now i noe the frustration in ym, my student, when he cant find the last missing piece in his puzzle....esp when it's lost fer good....he even asked fer help but no one cld help him find it....exactly our thots now....
enuff of sighing.....tmr gotta sigh more.....=S sad....cant go pasir ris park tmr wif my boys....
