met my uni frens after a long long while....finally got everyone together....thanks to clarissa n pristine..heh....aka meimei (now jun mei) and chuyun respectively....both changed their names...hee....tink it was a realli nice chat...one dat i cannot find in my other group of frens....cos we all had almost the same aspirations....sth in common....psychology....we all wanted to pursue in careers related to psych....but of cos it was not all ez....so we all ended up in different kinds of job but ruffly the same nature.....one in teaching...one in CDAC...another one hoping to join her...n another in ministry of transport (organizational psych??)....social service....most of us werked fer the passion of the job....n not fer money....tho we haf to be realistic.....but it was comforting to noe dat at least i haf frens hoo haf the same belief as mi....at least fer the moment.....perhaps i still dun see the importance of having lotsa money yet....mabbe when i'm older.....as usual i was toking bout dunno if i shld go fer the nie course....they were all fer it....not like i wanted pple to encourage me....but wif them i could kinda draft out where to move on n so on.....we chao chao noe how the career pathwae shld be in psych....cant get too far cos it's a narrow field.....at the end of the dae even if i'm a phd i wun even noe where it leads me to.....but i gathered weeks earlier dat i could possibly move on to educational psych if i stayed in my field....which was not a bad choice....but the thot of gg into studies again dreads me a lil....well...the decision still lies in me which irks me alot...every now n then....gg bonkers soon....
just sooo glad dat all of us took time out to meet up....missed everyone so much....
ends at 2:26 AM
had my appraisal...last min notice again...as usual....din tok much....cos i din noe wad to sae whenever i see my prog head...everything which i had rehearsed earlier on when i was pinning them down in words had been lost....mabbe the outing made me so tired dat i couldnt tink....he was i was one of the top 3 teachers....as if i cared....cos i din felt like i was treated like one....supposed to take on one more student in the morning wef frm next jan....poof....mite not be in my emmanuel klass animore...sadz....i'm expected to guide the new teachers hoo r coming in too....duhz...like how man....he said i nid to speak up....said i'm introverted to not-so-familiar pple n extroverted to those in my own group....hmmm....true...i dun deny dat....but it's alwiz ez to get into my group wad....just dat he probably din try...heh....
went to the horse stable....rained abit but cooling enuff fer the walk there....some students sat on the horse...n u noe we alwiz sae "gd job! high 5!" kinda tings to the students....wad was farnie was when one student came off the horse n gave the horse a pat n said "Good job, Horsey!" hahaha....i nearly wanted to pengz on the spot....
ends at 1:36 AM
my uni frens....-suqi, pristine, clarissa and wenqi-
ends at 1:25 AM
Monday, November 27, 2006Y
haa...finally got my kebaya...thanks to my parents fer borrowing frm their frens....hee....they realli go the extra mile man.....i'm contented wif the ones i haf liao dey still sae wan to borrow another set from another auntie cos the color matches better....duhz....as if dat dnr on fri got shuai ge....haiz.....waste their efforts....haa....
dat dae went to grandma's hse n tried the cheong sum my grandma kept fer yrs.....i could put them on....but cannot walk or breathe....must hop arnd....dat just goes to show how f** i m lor.....sianz......feel like dim sum lady too...cannot make it....
todae's ben's birthdae but the birthdae cake he brot abit the pathetic....not a bdae cake lor...just a walnut cake frm bengawan solo.....mi n eva chipped in to get biscuits n stuff fer the students....
came back early frm werk....1/2 dae n no where to go.....sianz....practise piano after a long long while....sat there fer near to two hrs....onli managed to play 3-4 times for 2-3 pieces....cannot make it man.....i cant focus....kept imagining stuff....thanks to bryan's bro....haa....i nid to focus!!!
tmr's outing dae...hope it wun rain....*cross fingers*
ends at 7:55 AM
Sunday, November 26, 2006Y
been sick fer more den a week...still suffering frm the remnants of cough n runny/blocked nose....
so glad dat next week onwards i'm on 1/2 dae leave everydae fer 3 weeks...n the last 2 weeks of the yr i dun haf to werk~! yippee~!!! just praying hard dat i dun haf much werk to clear or sth....
lotsa functions coming up...tis fri is the SAMH dinner....Asian Nite...haf to dress up in asian ethnic costume man....been fretting over it...tink i'm the onli one...cos my collegues like heck or haf costumes all ready liao.....but come to tink of it....it's one of the few times we get to dress pretty in 365 daes.....normally we dress so shabbily dat i dun reali like gg out after werk....i wear polo tee wif cargos n slippers lor....wad can be worse.....haa.....tinking of wearing kebaya....dunno where hoo to borrow frm den buy so ex leh.....after which can kip inside wardrobe collect spiderweb.....was surfing the net just now n chanced upon costume rental at People's Association there....but not too mani varieties....mite just get a kimono...hee....still considering....i wun b surprised if i decide to wear normal dnr clothes in the end....haa....i'm dat fickle....
ben's birthdae's tmr!! HAPPIE 20th BIRTHDAE BEN!!! we gonna celebrate...haf party....no teaching....slack....haa....been quite slack lately cos 2 out of 5 daes we go outing....the rest of the 3 daes we either do cleaning or cooking or play games n of cos some teaching....
appraisal soon again...so fast....just filled up a form regarding wad i tink of my job so far...din noe wad to write...was fretting over the can-writes and cannot-writes and should-i-writes.....haiz...my dat supervisor hor gave me the form when he actualli filled in comments abt me b4hand den erased awae....i could still make out most part of it....he mentioned dat i shld learn to speak up n go fer the NIE course....argh....bet he's gonna tok to me abt it soon....so scarie...i alwiz v shy in front of him....dunno y.....
mite b having dnr wif all my colleagues tis week....early early xmas dnr.....cos most of us awae in dec....hope it's still on.....
one impt decision i've made last week....i'm finally gg back to my piano teacher fer lessons....gonna kip myself bz liao....early new yr resolution.....partly cos i nid help fer my students n oso fer myself....i'm deteriorating real real real fast....cannot make it man....nid to buck up fer my students' sake....
sooo excited! cos christmas is coming!! dunno y but it's my fave festive season.....wanna go shopping n lotsa other self-improvement stuff.....must buy all the tings i nid including CNY clothes before the GST hikes go up to 7% wef frm next yr!! haa.......
ends at 5:39 AM
Friday, November 17, 2006Y
went back to werk yest to find so mani surprises.....was a lil pissed again....cos so mani tings happened n i wasnt informed....we were supposed to dress better cos a consultant is coming...i din noe....i was supposed to present n no one told me....luckily in the end dun haf to.....everyting about the party.....i haf no idea.....communication is lacking.....i dunno whether it's between the teachers n the mgm or issit just me alone.....
todae we having a party fer the school students as it is the last dae of sch...but my day activity centre klass oso joining in....so quite slack..tv screening of tigger movie...a simulation fer the students....n fer us to noe if they can go watch flushed awae n happie feet in a cinema next week....some of them cant....some will haf to depend on the dae itself....hmm....a consultant came so we sat in a meeting wif them in the afternoon....boring....evening time went over to the music therapist's house fer hse-warming...onli 6 of us were there...including boss...as usual boss kip telling lame jokes...faintz....it was a nice hangout place...like the colors in her house...she's single n can afford a 3-rm flat herself...nice decor tho simplistic....i can sometimes forsee i will just be like one of my colleagues....single n unattached n independent...out of my 10 female colleagues, 3 married, 1 has bf, the rest of us all single n unattached...with mi n another colleague same age, the rest aged 25, 30, 40, 47....i can see the pattern man....haa.....dunno y later into the evening my voice changed n become more n more voiceless.....till now i'm almost like whispering tho i'm talking using the same tone...haiz....kinda foresee one colleague gg to quit soon...the intuition is so strong....n i cant reali bear to tink abt it....makes my waver again....hate myself fer being so indecisive....i can be like so bent in moving on in the morning n in the afternoon i feel it aint dat bad at all n tings r gonna get better.....wad the heck.....
voiceless = having no voice, mute voiceless = having no vote or right of choice
i'm voiceless in both ways....
ends at 11:13 PM
Wednesday, November 15, 2006Y
overwhelmed by so mani outings....realli will suffer a burnout....on mc todae...had a fever yest....poof....feeling better oreadi....
tues went fort canning hill....walked so much n the sun was so strong....felt so exhausted....was a pretty nice outing except dat BT dashed among the crowd at the mrt station n i nearly lost BK....*sweat*
wed morning went spore expo....n we had a big group cos we combined wif the other younger klass....at the simei mrt platform, YH a 9-yr-old boy dropped shit on the floor...he was not toilet-trained and he kinda dug out the shit from his pull-up pants....he was abt to eat them i heard till the teachers realised....he puts everyting in his mouth u c....so terrible....my poor colleague had to pick up the shit n the other two brought him to toilet while i took care of 10 students on the platform....luckily no one threw tantrum n all waited patiently fer them to return....kept telling them the next train the next train the next train.....BT was angry wif me fer making him put his hands in his pocket...but please...if he stopped touching everyone n everyting i wldnt haf to do dat.....KW n BK nearly got lost in the crowd dunno how mani times....ferst time taking 3 students at a time fer outing....at dat moment i just wished i had 3 arms....on the wae back i started raining....told BT to run n he did...the other two still walked in the rain....BK had to make me luff when he sang "rain rain go away..." n his pet phrase "dun play wif water" haa.....we were all late....den the bus drivers all got frustrated n kept complaining...wad the....not as if dey had never been late in fetching dem lor.....we r customers k!! plus dat new auntie ar...kept scolding NF when he kept touching her tings....was so pissed dat i asked NF to sit at the back and i slammed her door....heck....
wed afternoon went changi airport...C kept screaming n grunting on the train n platform frm simei to changi airport that pple from 3-4 cabins awae kept looking at us.....felt embarassed....but guess it's gd training to become thick-skinned....but his wailing gave me a headache man....till we reached airport all was well again....on the wae back he was smiling an kept touching me on the hand, arm n wrist fer assurance...again...pple on the cabin stared at us....poof....
the changes in temp made me sick....hot den drenched den super cold at the airport....gosh....supposed to take over my collegue's klass todae too....dunno how....no one to take my klass n no one else to take her klass....i guess the mgm will arrange....heck...feeling lesser n lesser self-worth....was a lil upset dat i wasnt informed of all the latest arrangements recently....i guess no one is indispensible....but i tink i'm the most dispensible one....sniff....mabbe it's a hint to look fer a new job....
ends at 11:08 PM
Sunday, November 05, 2006Y
Jiajun's birthday
ends at 8:01 AM
Thursday, November 02, 2006Y
check out these websites! by one of our students....he's so cute!!!
damn rich man...got own art exhibition....some of his compositions realli touched me....sets me thinking too....considering he is a person wif ASD he is able to tink in such a profound manner....i'm impressed realli.....he's new to our sch....onli came a week ago....
boss said we'll be moving to SA village next yr jan....we r all happie....cos nearer all of our houses..but i'm quite skeptical realli....he sae onli....dunno how true dat will be...or how soon dat will happen....cant imagine having a cluster of schools from kindy to pri to sec to jc to special sch....so cosy....haa....bet the rest of the schs will turn havoc cos os us....haa.....
ends at 6:56 AM
suay bo suay met yiru on the train back home....was sleeping on the train n cos my hp rang so opened my eyes n saw him sittin rite opp me....gosh...we hardly knew each other...we were neither in the same klass, same eca, same stream...nth except the same sec sch....dun even noe how come i noe him....he used to call occasionally...but everytime tok to him must re-intro again...sianz....he commented dat i become prettier...i just gave a patronising smile n divert the conversation....hoo cares man...den he said he not sure wad my name is after quite some time...i'm like duh....wadeva....but he managed to get my name rite n said i was lucki n honoured dat he got my name rite....cos he is bad at names....chey....cheesy....so glad he left at tiong bahru so dun haf to entertain him all the wae to cck.....haiz...suay....
