felt so guilty last fri when i made my ever-so-cheery boy cry....but after he cried again todae, i wasnt the least guilty animore....he is so not typical of ASD except his obsession wif the lift buttons, auto doors and switches....he has been playing wif the lift buttons ever since tis year...his goal was to stop tis inappropriate bhv...so well, i used the "thinking chair" method....made him sit at the thinking chair when he played wif the lift....being totally friendly n likes being wif frens, he hates being left out....no wae could i get him to sit on the chair....he tried to "kiss" me awae, push me awae...none of which worked...so he started sitting at the sofa looking super gloomy....as if doing self reflection there....n when i asked if he was ready to join the class, he started weeping from the bottom of his heart....for a moment, my heart nearly melted...i m now the one feeling remorseful about wad he has done....well done boy! u have successfully manipulated ur teacher.....haa...n as he cried he spat on the sofa...yucks...haa...fer the rest of the dae din wan to push him too hard...haiz....n todae he did the same again....okie....i'll learn to not feel the remorse from todae onwards....my new co teacher must feel i'm so fierce...haa...=X wonder if i shld continue wif the thinking chair approach...it actualli werked fer a while when i reminded him....hmm...
i tink i'm realli aging faster than i m....forced to grow up in this org...forced to be the sensible one in the org...mabbe werking wif so mani females make me haf tis strong self awareness of wad is gg to happen to me in 5 yrs' time....still single like most of my colleagues? wierd like some of them? happy-go-lucky still? or old n haggard? i'm quite adversive to guys' touch these daes...haa...how shld i put it...mabbe kena touched by students so often....i'm ok wif their touch...but todae my co teacher suddenly tried to pick sth frm my hair, i felt funny....n when the ot sometimes gimme a pat i m quite sensitive to it....haaa...mabbe i'm too conservative....*shy* it's difficult to get close to me i guess..haa....n mabbe my other colleague is rite...i'm the ice queen....alwiz look so cool....but i'm not lor....i'm the panicky gan cheong spider.....
