it was 10 min to 5pm b4 i finally made up my mind...well...not totally cos tings n more factors pop up thruout the afternoon.....tings like my boss said "i'll still treat u the same even tho u not gg fer the course", "u mite not be able to get the amt u asked fer cos the board feels it's too high", etc....more comments n advice coming in.....frm colleagues, frens n my prog head.....so not totally meaning i haf sent in my letter of acceptance fer the offer to the course....but i still haf some reservations n may choose to pay n go if aniting doesnt match my expectations....so shall start saving up fer rainy dae....n must start eating more bittergourd cos life mite just turn very bitter soon....nid to up my level of tolerance....
was kinda touched when all my deary frens n colleagues r so concerned bout me....dey noe i'm indecisive....n very lost....haa....as usual....
thanks to JH hoo called me at the crux to tok to me....haa...despite him being mia fer so long, he still reads me like a book...which is reali scarie....haa....i must sae he is one fren hoo reads me inside out most of the time....poof....alwiz my advisor...haa....so if i regret in my decision he is partly to blame....hahaha.....but i realli appreciate it lar......(but den again, he called cos he nid me to help him jio the rest out!! shucks...kena cheated....)
n to my prog head hoo rarely gives me advice...haa...tho from wad he said he tried to hint dat i dun realli haf to go fer it....but he brot up a very valid n strong point dat if i were to still be in tis org fer the next 3 yrs i'll regret not gg fer the course.....i felt dat too....if i m not gg den probably i'll still b stuck here fer god-noes-how mani yrs.....and stay stagnant...n well, a change in env cld do me gd.....i hope....so after much toking n brainstorming inside his rm, i broke my decision to him....din wan to tell my boss my decision cos he carrying a super black face the whole dae....haiz....he better fight fer my pay during tis evening's board meeting!!! argh.....but i'm not pinning too much hope le....
so basically in my decision-making process, there r 3 camps of pple....the ones hoo r supportive (mainly my colleagues n a handful frens...), the ones hoo r not so supportive (mani frens and some colleagues), and those who refused to influence me wif their thots (most colleagues)...but i appreciate all of it....cos it helps me realise both sides of the coin....but den i must sae all cancelled out each other nicely....n i guess like wad everyone said....just follow ur heart....u haf to make dat decision....it's sometimes tuff not to listen to the majority n surf over all the currents....but den mabbe god could b telling me thru dem to back out, or giving me more opportunities to back out but i simply chose not to listen to them...haa....oh well, now dat i've made it...i do not feel exceptionally lighter, nor do i feel ani much happier....just hope i'll be able to score well in tis field lor....cos the future lies ahead n i cant foresee anything as yet...n yes like wad JH said ba....it's not how tuff it is but how u tide over the tuff times.....=)
