♥Relaxing ...

Sunday, March 30, 2008Y

my body's a wreck now....shoulder pains now escalate to cervical spinal pain at the neck....having a bad toothache fer the past week due to the embedded wisdom tooth...my guess is dat lar....after much persuasion from my colleagues i decided to go see the dentist as it's been disrupting my sleep....luckily i manage to get a slot which was given up by someone else n it's on tmr...so cant go fer class...but will still go office in the morning to settle n prep fer a week in case i'll be awae fer the next few daes...din wan to leave my new co teacher stranded....

argh....just wad's happening to me?? premature aging or issit aging itself? having all the ailments like an old lady....gosh...dunno wad's up next....=(

ends at 7:57 AM

Sunday, March 16, 2008Y

ends at 9:02 AM

Saturday, March 15, 2008Y

ends at 1:12 AM

Friday, March 14, 2008Y

someting bout my sch holidaes...

sch hols started a little earlier fer me...cos was oreadi on course b4 sch hols started....visuals n structured teaching.....heard the stuff over n over liao...my prog head bored to bits....so we kinda gossipped abit...heh...

outta 5 daes, 3 daes i'm on training...2 in-house, 1 at ssti...had one on occupational therapy....quite interesting...learnt how to do massages, activities for calming, etc....the hands-on part was quite funny...cos all the older generation pple din wan to try....so the rest of us just tried on each other...massaging n demo...haa...not so calming to us i guess....cos our senses work differently frm the students'....another one was by my prog head...chim...heard mani of the tings b4 but nid to refresh my memory man....application is another difficult part....the other one on handwriting...the ferst 5 min into the workshop i knew i was in the wrong workshop liao....i nided pre-writing skills, not handwriting skills...haiz....but not bad lar...my colleague got to noe a pretty cut guy at the workshop...haa...so bad...teasing her even tho she oreadi has a dotter...

prep-work: to be done todae n over the weekend....without the laminating machine is such a torture...or mabbe i'm too used to having laminated tings n velcro around me....

farniest joke of term 1:

in relation to my trainings on visuals...we often presesnt symbols or pictures to students to communicate...esp so when most of them are non verbal n studies haf shown they understand better in pictures den when spoken to....overload....many a times in class, i would show icons (as if they are some referee cards or talisman....

now look at the picture below....wad does it mean to u?

now try again....

better? makes more sense?

so guess wad one of my student did when i showed it to him when he was v noisy....(cldnt find the "be quiet" card when in a frantic).....

answer: he dropped his jaw n opened his mouth wide....i stood beside him dumbfounded n stunned for 3 sec....den i started bursting into luffter....told my co-teacher wad happened she too luffed....so literal.....so cute....whenever i see dat pic i'm alwiz reminded n cant help but giggle....my mistake...shld haf put a red cross on it...so visuals do werk....but it nids to be explained...since he cant read the words....but well, it did kip him quiet for a while...hhahaha....

ends at 8:32 AM

Dental fees: $130.00

so ex....dentists just nid to squeeze u dry cos u onli get to see them once or twice a yr...but my sis paid more...$185.00....faintz....

ends at 8:27 AM

clumsiness is....
when you hit ur head on against a open cupboard so hard dat tears just roll out uncontrollably n u want to blame someting/someone for it but realise there's only u urself to blame...
bad luck.

ends at 8:20 AM

Wednesday, March 12, 2008Y

i nid to do serious self-monitoring n self-reflection....but it's so difficult these daes....i realli m lost n disillusioned....wad is right? wad is wrong? m i too bossy n pushy n snobbish? m i too indecisive? m i too insensitive? how m i gg to remediate the situation? how m i gg to let go when once i've let go 40% another 20% comes along to tie me down? i losing faith in myself....losing confidence in my judgements...i nid to tok to someone...but hoo? my co oic dropped me several hints within a few weeks about her unhappiness wif me....mabbe not unhappiness but probably some minor tings which we dont see eye to eye wif or tings dat werent explained properly....m i realli ready fer leadership role? m i realli the right person? have been questioning myself fer 1/2 yr....knew tis position is gg to be tuff fer me...wanted to give up when it was announced...but i din wan history to repeat itself...regret aft opportunity goes by....so i told myself i'll try....but it's reali been a rough 1/2 yr...mabbe it's time i shld give it up....n revert back to my old self...i hope it's still reversible....but den again, nth ventured nth gained...

okie...please ignore...i'm into self-talk....=X

ends at 9:43 AM

For the hopelessly unoccupied pple out there...

watch tis....

http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/magazine/16-03/ff_autism?currentPage=1

disclaimer: turn ur volume down if it is too disturbing...

fer public awareness.....=P

din had time to read the whole article but watched the video...

ends at 9:06 AM

Tuesday, March 11, 2008Y

5.15pm
Tuesday
Rainy
it was pouring in the northern part of spore
stood outside his flat, waiting for someone to open the door...
we waited fer a couple of minutes before a familiar face popped up at the window sill smiling n waving to me...his smile just never fails to bring the sunshine n warmth into his house...
his mum came over to open the gate for us...pale-looking but yet cheery...
initially i told my colleague, "u do the toking k?" i'm afraid i say sth wrong or too insensitive to certain tings...
the conversation flowed v well...out of my expectations...as if we were some old frens...it was probably the 2nd time i toked to her in person....the ferst was during the parent meeting session last yr....comparatively, she had lost wt and becum v pale....got to noe more about her family, n how her frens haf been helping her out....touched by how there is still warmth in tis unfeeling world....he looked so much like his mum...just dat he is growing taller n taller...he sticks to his mum most of the time...physically....he stuck to me fer a while too...haa....typical of him...
mum is realli brave....3rd stage breast cancer...single-parent with an elderly mother and special kid...the mere tot of it just makes my nose becomes 'sour'...n it's precisely for these reasons that gave her the motivation to fight on i guess....undergoing chemo, radio n OT....had to run to n fro the hospital...n to the chinese tcm...on 6mths leave to recuperate...sole breadwinner of the family....i realli dunno how i can help....a wild tot came to my mind...i wun mind looking aft him...seriously....
all thru the chat, the mum din show any signs of stress or fear....she asked if we will be scared to look at her scars...we said no...she showed it to us n i'm surprised at how calm i was....it wasnt any near the feeling i had when i ferst saw my student in the toilet...he was sitting there all along wif us....heard how we praised him, how his mum complained bout him, playing wif our fones, listening to songs, and showing me how he play his new puzzles...not fergetting his signature smiles...and incessant "Hi"s....
as dey sent us out, i cld see the mum's eyes filled wif gratitude....but i realli din help much....i realli dunno how to help....perhaps i should teach him to be even more independent....so dat he can take care of his mum too....the tedious chemo sessions gg to start...she's oreadi seeing the side effects....realli wished she will be blessed wif gd health.....
beneath those smiles, i realli wonder if he noes his mum is gg thru an ordeal? i wonder how he is feeling then...or how he is gg to cope with his feelings n his inability to express them....
6.35pm
Rain has stopped, but was still drizzling
but at least i can see the sun now....

(chose our favourite color fer tis post...)

ends at 9:09 AM

Tuesday, March 04, 2008Y

not long ago met a sec sch fren's mother....ferst qn was "when u getting married?" oh wow....do i look so old or do i look like i'm married or is it cos i kip short hair now so pple tink i'm gg to get married/is married (cos usu pple kip short hair when dey get pregnant or after marriage...) hmm...my shy fillipino ot's ferst words to me was oso if i'm married.....argh.....she commented dat i eat until i look good now...direct translation frm chinese....oh well...another wae of saying i put on wt....sianz....time to lose wt....

was toking to my sis bout her attachment life...she's teaching in a sec sch now....damn stress i can tell....hardly a mth n she's up to the brim liao....was so glad i din go moe...she is teaching all the sec 1 n 2 classes music....repeats her same lesson 11 times....how mundane....she told me even the joke dat she said turned sour after the 3rd time....cldnt even bring herself to luff....quite poor ting la huh...after teaching still has to accompany me to go shopping....haaa....worse is when i din buy aniting i wanted to buy....sianz...but it's realli nice to go shop when there's no crowd....

cancelled my leave tmr n hope to haf a peaceful dae at werk wif big half of my colleagues not arnd n students not attending sch....phew....oh well..mabbe not...gotta answer the calls....argh....

ends at 7:58 AM

Monday, March 03, 2008Y

finally i'm getting my leave...but when tings arent settled, taking leave can be stressful too...took leave tmr n wed but feel like cancelling wed one...cos thurs fri i'm on course n i haven prepared the relief teacher on wad to do....took leave next mon n fri too....but mite be cancelling mon one as i nid time to sit down wif my new co teacher....

todae the new staff came in....5 of them + 2 admin n finance exec...the 2 guys went wif me fer outing...or mabbe i shld sae 1.5 guy...haa...quite wierd la...haven werk wif a male co teacher b4.....hmm...my co teacher is quite nice...fillipino...din expect him to be so young...thot mabbe uncle ba...the other teacher is quite soft....so soft dat i seem so much tuffer than he is....oops....=X his actions just wanna make me luff....in betw the two guys' conversation, i tried hard to bite my tongue not to luff when he started doing those feminine gestures....n he is gg to dac...werking wif the adults! gosh...dunno how he'll manage...mabbe the students there will teach him how to be a man! the other 2 ladies who r gg dac r 2 old ladies...haiz...y on earth dey get tis age group there?! dac desperately nids high energy pple....hmm...guess onli time will tell....heard so mani scarie stories at dac....tink i'm oso scared to go over now...

wanna quickly settle some stuff b4 i can slp in peace....drag till now...gosh....n my colleague hoo worries so much more den i do just msg me to ask if she cfm is gg fer the training tmr....argh! miss! if it were on other daes i'll probably be able to answer u onli tmr morning lei! i off my hp at nite one u noe! haiz....count urself lucky....oreadi told them dey r in...sent email....during meeting oso told liao still blur....wad can i sae?! =X

wanna go sleep le....nid a long long sleep....without pple troubling me....den go shopping....hee....

ends at 9:40 AM

Saturday, March 01, 2008Y

those few daes when i was feeling down....i kept seeing pple who wore t-shirts dat read "life is not a job" twice within a dae...n a few more times subsequently after dat...n of cos a job is not for life...but fer me, sadly, it seemed almost so......i oso kept seeing encouraging phrases everywhere...."a cheerful heart makes good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." from 6th floor ward...din notice all the proverb everytime i passed by...but dat dae it just stood out to me...haa...is tis wad dey sae it is...a calling? nah...more like helping me to pass my daes...as tho heaven has seen how devastated i m....but it realli made me feel better...

_______________________________________________

somehow whenever i meet tis group of frens i dun feel realli enjoyable...i dunno y...mabbe it's just me...mabbe not unenjoyable...but more like not so much at ease...tho we r quite clique-ish...most of the time just the 4 or 5 of us will turn up....wif me n another ger...sometimes i realli cannot stand her....well...kinda childish n lame....i noe i'm not supposed to speak ill of my fren...but realli....all i cld do was just sit there quietly n watch the show go on....she realli speaks her mind n just wants to be pampered like a child....went steamboat...den she kept asking fer tis n dat n tis n dat n tis n dat....the guys had to go get it fer her....well, guys probably like tis kinda gers better...gers hoo r dependent so dat dey can shower dem wif security....so probably dat's y i'm still single ba...

sometimes not i wan to gei gao...but tings like...i put my file in her plastic bag upon her suggestion n i had to carry the bag the whole nite....she not offering to carry at ani pt in time kinda pissed me off....majiam i'm her maid....n one of the guys noticed it n brot it up...n she oso wun feel paiseh...just brushed it off.....worse is when everytime we meet, we will take pics n bluetooth each other n explore all our hps' functions....boring....she will be indirectly braggin bout her stuff...n start comparing tis n dat...oh well....n i cld spend the whole nite wif someone lidat till 12+am....n wif tis group of frens usu no one will offer to send me home tho dey will ask but din mean it....cos i'm outta the wae....had to take a cab back while the 3 shared cab to zouk to pick up my fren's gf n den head fer home....all the more sianz....

ends at 6:24 AM

learn to live
live to learn
learn to love
love to learn

ends at 6:18 AM