♥Relaxing ...

Monday, January 30, 2006Y

boring 2nd dae of CNY....

went to movies wif sis n bro....cos parents not in too....sianz.....watched i not stoopid too....so touching....dunno y my tear glands so super active.....ferst movie dat i actualli was moved to tears....hmm....perhaps it was closer at heart.....*sniff*

it's bout communication betw parents n child....n oso promoting giving praises....n tinking bout my students...i felt even worse fer them....dey cant communicate....so it's hard fer dem to express their needs...much less their thots n feelings....part of my job is to give praises....everydae i'm telling them "good job", "well done", "very good", "wonderful", "fantastic" etc....it may sound a lil fake to u....but dat realli is part of wad i do everydae....to gif encouragement....to boost their confidence....i noe just how impt dat makes....sooner or later i can come up wif a list of all the words dat can substitute the word "good".....continue to gif praises....learn to be generous in giving praises...cos it makes a difference....

ends at 10:03 PM

CNY

Happie Chinese New Year!

yest went visiting at both my grandma's hses....

at my paternal grandma's hse.....it was a small house but enuff to hold all of us...at least i get to catch up more wif my cousins...tho it's onli my biao ge n biao di (of the same age as me).....dey din change much tho it's been some time since we seen each other....except that my biao ge has gotten a gf!! haa....he even showed me their foto without me asking fer it...haa....she's a taiwanese ger...2 yrs older den he is....dey werk in the same company....n if i'm not wrong....it's his ferst gf....after 26 years....last time i used to hound on him to look fer a gf...i even tried to intro my frens to him...but tinking dat he's the kinda egoistic MCP, hoo stays awae frm r/s....he focussed onli on studies n werk...i wld haf tot dat he wld get someone whom wld be younger den him....taiwanese i'm not too surprised la....since sporean gers arent dat compliant...hahaha....oops....he's not bad looking...(cos my cousin mah...haa) but a lil short....his gf mite be a bit or as tall as he is....i tink...haa...gf even bot him a hp....when all of us were discussing bout his gf...dunno my mum or dad asked if she has PR or wad....den my aunt, his mum suddenly blurted out "eh...den can marry her one or not??" hahahaha......damn farnie.....so blunt...the worries of a mum....his bro has a long time gf...tink super steady le...can get married liao...hahaa....

den my uncle started to use poker cards to tell the fortune fer all of us....hmm...wanted to noe more abt myself so i tried.....pretty accurate i tink....fer me at least.....he said...i'm a procrastinator....needs pple to push me den i'll werk fer it....i wun go fer ace...but more den average will do...den....my mum has to add in "dat's y i kip pushing her to look fer bf!"......duhz.....so paiseh....den my uncle spoke up fer me....she noes wad she wans....she wun tell her family members one....haa.....hmm...

den later in the afternoon went over to my maternal grandma's hse....it's actualli my uncle's...terrace house....so mani of us there but everyone is still quite separated....at least i feel....hardly get to even tok to my cousins....one stuck wif bf....the rest engaging in mahjong or poker which i dun like....so i just flop myself in front of the sofa in front of the tv....but like hundreds of pple walk past n plus all the noise from my lil cousin....he abit ADHD....so super active....cannot stop bullying others....i simply cant catch the show.....even trying to read the subtitles oso becum a chore....haiz...boredom!!! cant wait to go back home....the atm there has alwiz been a lil uncomfortable...cos of past grudges....n oso to avoid all the nasty Singaporean favourite pastime...crude comparisons....cannot stand tis kinda mercenary stuff....

CNY is supposed to be a get-together fer everyone in the hope of getting in touch wif others...but it seems hard to break the barrier betw mi n my maternal cousins....tho i used to hang arnd more often wif them when i was young...mabbe all of us has grown up....different backgrounds....different status....different thinking....but from wad i can see....some still bring wif them the character dey had when dey were young....my biao ge still as crappy....my biao di still as quiet...tok onli when necessary....my biao jie still as kiasee....my oldest biao mei still as pretty n likes dolling herself up...my 2nd biao mei still as clever n pretty...(she's the prettiest i tink...n smartest!) my god bro still as nonchalant...but getting more yandao...my 3 other young cousins getting taller n taller.....haiz.....n me? i dunno.

ends at 11:08 AM

Friday, January 27, 2006Y

10 signs of me aging:

1) when more n more pple point out dat i haf white hair
2) when tiffany starts calling me "auntie" unconsciously tho i m onli one yr older den she is
3) survey pple leave me out when dey r looking fer students
4) becum more emotional
5) when i start hanging out more n more often wif pple dat r older den i m
6) when frens start reminding my next bdae is coming
7) when i start to lose interest in most other tings except werk
8) when my taste in clothes change to becum more auntie
9) when i dun dress up animore
10) when MSN becums more n more uninteresting to me....

ends at 7:56 AM

todae's mag's last dae....feel so sad....tho i wasnt realli dat close wif her....but i'll definitely miss her....she tot me mani tings.....alwiz there to guide me.....encourage me....support me....gimme opportunities....but noeing dat she's still staying in the same field makes me feel abit comforted....at least i noe i'll meet her somedae at some conferences or wad....the field in spore aint dat big too....everyone noes everyone....but still i thot we will all werk as a team and build the centre tog.....i tot after margaret leave the peaceful daes r here....now dat mag's leaving, it leaves us all floating in the air wif nth to cling on to....i dunno wad the future will b in store fer us....or fer me....shld i continue....or shld i not....

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere"

ends at 7:47 AM

Monday, January 23, 2006Y

bryan's not arnd todae...so quiet...not as if he can tok much....but it just seems so much more leng qing....cos of the fact dat 25% of our class is absent....he'll be awae fer a week....bet zhirong will b the happiest tis week....dey kinda have some grudges against each other....haa....

zhirong is so farnie todae! as usual he was playing wif saliva n mucus....but todae he had a lil flu...so i handed him a tissue paper and ask him to blow his nose....guess wad....he took the tissue paper n blow....using his mouth....haa...dey alwiz haf tis prob of literally following instructions....so straight.....tiffany as of everydae din wanted to do PE...."i dun wan to play ball" tog wif her shaking of head so much so dat the baby fats on her cheeks shook so hard...."ok....u dun wan to play ball you run wif me" "ok" stunned...thot she would sae no....haa....so i got her to run a lil....den my colleague suddenly sae "if u can catch ms serene u can stop" gosh...she suddenly ran so fast without warning dat i got scared...haa...but i slowed down so dat she could catch up wif me....din wanted her to run so much too....else she gets too high....

ends at 2:53 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006Y

再一次拥有

我想念去年的冬天
下着雪的那一夜
你给的温柔
紧握的双手
温暖整个寒冬

失去了曾经的拥有
在你离开以后
带走了笑容
只留下寂寞
忘了幸福是什么

没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜谁在你身边
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔

ends at 3:46 AM

Saturday, January 21, 2006Y

psych test

what's ur true color?

http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t

my color's black....hmm....

Black
Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

hmm....doesn't realli describes me i tink....

ends at 2:03 AM

Friday, January 20, 2006Y

yippee~!!!! finally tiffany n kai wei noes their address....but next week gotta go thru again wif them....in case dey dun rem....tiffany initially refuse to answer my questions....but when i said "after self-awareness is ur break + music"....it was like she was struck by the magic wand n started blurting out her address in one breath.....amazing.....so fluent....kaiwei dun realli haf much confidence in his answer tho he rem his add faster den tiffany....he spoke so softly dat we kept asking him to repeat....making feel dat he answered wrongly n spoke softer n softer....but kaiwei is such a well-mannered n well-trained boy.....so sweet.....he does household chores, cooks, good in fine motor skills eg cutting wif scissors....starting to like him more n more....tiffany is realli the one hoo will make my dae....i can luff at wad she sae everydae.....makes life pass easier....n when she luffs....(even if there was nth farnie).....i wld wan to luff tog wif her....haa....tink i'm gg bonkers.....but i was realli glad to haf the two in my klass....so touched when both knew their address after 3 lessons....so proud of dem.....tink the process may be tedious....but i tink they r picking up very fast oreadi....n it makes mi feel reassured dat i m not wasting their time.....(cos sometimes i realli feel like a clown....esp during music n movement)

aching all over....from the training yest....teaching us how to defend ourselves n how to protect others.....+ PE n music n movement....all the dancing can realli burn some calories....esp when i haf to shout n dance at the same time....alwiz end up panting....i'm weak....

todae the psychologist came....she alwiz left me wif quotes to ponder upon...."you r doing sth by not doing aniting".....sometimes by letting dem haf their wae, gif n take, mite make tings better....."TEAM : together each achieves more"....we haf to werk in a team....."dun focus on the outcomes so as to make tings ez fer urself"....the outcome may be wad u intended to achieve...but the process is the wae they learn....eg they may be able to make sandwich....but if u onli focus on the outcome, you wld keep prompting them n not let them haf the chance to respond....so as to let urself feel better tinking dat dey can achieve the goal....but dat mite not b the case.....thot-provoking....i alwiz look ferward to her coming....

next week is the last week my snr will be arnd....*sobz* we'll b left on our own....

ends at 7:57 AM

ha...cant stand tiffany....she's soooooo farnie~!!! she alwiz repeats the words we sae and alwiz tok to herself....all in intonation....+ her singlish is superb la....oops...i'm starting to behave more n more like her....shucks...."can ar", "teacher, connot leh".....realli cannot tahan when she kips calling me "mrs serene", "ms catherine".....haiz...but on the other hand, she realli repeats wad i said to her parents...which is soooo scarie....her parents mite tink out of the context n tinks we haf been saying harsh tings to her....but heck la....as long as i din do aniting to hurt her, it's ok.....but realli scared tings mite just slip out of my tongue....but these few daes her parents like abit hostile....ask fer the tings she do in klass, ask fer the programmes she's gg thru everydae....duhz.....no matter wad it's definitely better den wad she does in her old centre lor.....

sth terrible happened todae.....bryan twisted my colleague's arms.....so painful dat she cried....she almost ended up wif broken arms.....her pain included both physical n emotional pain.....she felt so helpless cos she couldn't understand him....couldn't understand wad he wanted...causing him to be frustrated....i could fully understand her feelings.....i felt strongly fer bryan when i was in ayc....everytime he goes tapping pple, his previous teachers wld scold, punish n pin him down to the door....he wld end up in tears....everytime i saw his pitiful sight, i realli felt heartbroken....my colleague was like saying she mite wanna quit....cos cannot handle the students....n she felt bad cos she tinks dat it's she hoo caused him to react tis wae.....but i tink in tis line, we cant blame the students fer wadeva they haf done....we cannot be too personal in situations.....all we can do is to bottle up or at most tok abt it within the staff room....other den dat, i doubt outsiders will ever understand....even if u tok abt it to family n frens, dey probably cant see the scenario and feel the same as we do......sooner or later i'm gonna be autistic too.....

went out wif my buddy todae cos it's his bdae...so fast....23rd le...super dumb lor him....make me sing bdae song fer him....kauz....tot pple wld be paiseh to receive bdae song....he actualli make me paiseh by singing the song fer him....duhz.....so long din c him he oso werking le....so not used to it...haa...we both in the werking world le....to tink dat it seems like not long ago we were still in sec sch....hmm....happie bdae!!

ends at 12:08 AM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006Y

bad dae

bad dae. felt quite bad todae. ferst lesson was PE. bad start. the game was a lil challenging for dem. den i had to modify it on the spot. haiz. confusion. den was english lesson. teaching the sense of hearing todae. dunno if my explanation is poor, vague or completely just noise to dem. yes noise. wad i taught todae. u like to listen to music? "yes". u like to hear pple quarrelling? "yes". argh. obviously din grasp the concept yet. wanna puke blood liao. tink i can just do this topic for a few more weeks. gosh. cant tink of ani ting to gif them le. showed dem examples of sounds, showed them pictures, did some activities together. hmm. mabbe i shld go tape all the different sounds. gosh. hard werk. den break was here. tiffany chose to do puzzle todae. wierd. normally she wld request for music. n when break was up n we were supposed to play board games tog, she started getting so upset dat she flapped her hands profusely, made a realli stressed up face, and even started crying. i realli felt fer her. i dunno wad made her sad. but later i gathered it was due to the fact that she fergot she can listen to her fave music during break. she simply cant live without it. so we made her sit at rest corner. on the music fer her. she began to get better. but den she started asking fer her number 6 again. argh. we din wan her to continue cos she'll get so high dat no one can stop her rocking n dancing. poof. so we staged a show saying dat the cd player was spoilt. wrong move. very wrong. she became more worked up and even shook the CD player so hard dat the CD inside came out. tis time the CD player sure spoil we thot. haiz. started crying again. like we r such meanies hoo make her live in deprivation. sniff. den was zhirong frm the other klass. he kept running over to our klass. he suddenly entered our room and wanted to take sth. we speculated dat he wanted to kip some stuff in our klassroom. dat's not too surprising since our klass is so untidy. tis guy is the super tall guy hoo has tis compulsion to pack everything into cupboards etc. once his teachers took out things to count for maths, he wld wan to kip it. we all cant stop him. he's got long limbs. he entered our room ferst, followed by her 2 other teachers panting behind. he's swift man. den there was bryan whom his teachers tink got tummy upset cos he kept pointing to the pic saying stomachache. den my colleague did sth quite out of the blue (tho i kinda knew she'll do it, haa). she helped bryan apply medicated oil on his stomach. hmm. i din actualli see the scenario but can picture that it wld be rather awkward. esp when bryan is just a yr younger den her n me. hmm. snr pointed out dat it was socially undesirable. indeed.

cracking my brain to teach the 5 senses n their personal details eg address. poof. haf been stuck to these topics since sch started. tink i may haf to take up a whole term. pengz. feel myself getting so old n naggy these daes. gotta repeat wad i sae so mani times. gotta teach pple 1 yr younger but mentally 10+ yrs younger. there's a kind of struggle between these conflicting issues. wad is appropriate fer them? too childish? nah. zhirong will probably luff at us when we do silly tings. too difficult? nah. they'll be stressed out and blabber all the wrong answers dat make u feel so demoralised. tuff.

ends at 11:59 PM

Friday, January 13, 2006Y

address

woah~!!!! so happie dat kaiwei could tell me his address with a little prompting....yeah~!!!! compared to the last lesson, tis lesson was so much better......the last lesson i probably stressed both of them out dat no one had ani idea how to answer me....poof....finally kaiwei got it...left tiffany....hmm...she is lazi n uncooperative....onli noe how to bug me fer music....haa...but at least tis lesson she manage to get her unit number right....cannot stand but luff at the wae she read her address....like some anchor woman in the news...haa.....damn scared wad i sae to her she repeat to her parents man.....stress....later i kena complain.....now i'm starting to feel a lil comforted since my demoralisation last week....hope the following weeks will be better....poof....my white hair's coming out oreadi....sobz~!!!!

ends at 11:35 PM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006Y

sch start

okie...time to update bout sch...hee....poof...almost one week has passed...teaching is quite tiring...some daes r quite rewarding...some daes r quite demoralising....the ferst dae of eng lesson was like shit...tink i explain til super luan...dat the guy in my klass became so stressed dat he kept pulling his hair....realli made me so stressed up too....haiz....but now dat it's been around one week liao...i kinda used to him pulling his hair le....yest was realli farnie....he suddenly so guai in klass....after sch he sat beside me...there was initially a gap between us....den he suddenly closed up the gap between us n sat nearer n nearer to me....den started luffing....pengs....den my other colleagues kept teasing me....sae he attracted to me....smile cheekily at me too....alamak.....the ger in my klass was like realli close to me lidat....my colleague said she listens onli to me....she alwiz like to bargain wif me....n she's realli gd at it....u must be wondering wad she bargain wif me.....eh...doing worksheets, gg fer lessons, n listening to music......the onli threat i can use on her is music....she alwiz demands to listen to cd...the same song....haa...we're all sick of listening to dat dance song oreadi....there was one dae she became so high dat she starting luffing uncontrollably.....wild....poof....had a hard time....n yest when she had menses, it was realli a bad dae....she suddenly turned very agitated n kept screaming n screaming....

aniwae, still trying hard to learn how to deal wif situations, the students, my own time, wad to teach, etc etc.....

the hours after lessons r the worst....we'll all haf to pia fer all the paper work...the lesson plan, the scheme of werk n preparation of resources fer the next dae klass....poof...wad's worse when sometimes we gotta haf meetings n impromptu visitors whereby we gotta sit in fer the meeting fer nth....waste my time....argh....even when i come back home from werk i still gotta do work....help~

haiz....worst news came when we were told dat the senior is leaving us....dat was realli unforeseen....realli unexpected....felt a sudden tinge of sourness....wanted to tear...but held them back in the meeting....y did she wanna quit??? the next thot dat came to me was....shld i realli stay in tis organisation?? how will it affect my future?? when i had the chance to chat wif my colleagues, all of them kept asking me if i knew about it b4hand...dey tink i'm my senior's fave...duhz....den dey ask if i noe y she quit....duhz....i noe nuts k!! haiz....some of my colleagues oreadi had the intention of leaving if no one is gg to lead us....one even said if the boss is gonna lead, she'd rather i lead them....pengz....i'm not dat superb k!!! i'm just as new as anione dat is left....i thot life wld b ez after the margaret incident....everydae wld be peace....now we all haf to deal wif tis kinda new adjustments again....argh....heard someone new is coming...but i m realli not sure how it's gg to turn out....tho sometimes i dun realli agree wif all the tings my snr said....but most of it makes some sense la....the someone new mite just be someone hoo is not exactly in tis field...like all the rest of us....oh man....plus the boss himself do not realli haf much idea....finally someone asked her y she left....she said "u all shld haf guessed la..." since all of us r so smart, we gathered it was due to the werkload....she realli had to be the supervisor-cum-admin-cum therapist-cum-intake assessor-cum-HR-cum-lotsa other stuff....sometimes when the aircon leaks, she is the one to mop the floor.....haiz....given ani amt of money, i guess the mental stress is too much....but i'll realli miss her....sobz~

ends at 11:51 PM

at the twin towers

ends at 8:28 AM

mr spongebob!!!

ends at 8:27 AM

models of the century~

ends at 8:27 AM

me n the spongebob heads....

ends at 8:25 AM

wing, me, qian, an...haa...permutation...

ends at 8:24 AM

kewl

ends at 8:23 AM

wing, qian, me n an

ends at 8:23 AM

cheers!

ends at 8:22 AM

Monday, January 02, 2006Y

happie 2006

hApPiE 2006!!!

the new year has arrived...tho i dun realli feel much fer it...it's just like ani other dae...mabbe becos i've brot the tings in my mind over from 2005 to the new year....new yr resolutions? nah....i'll be grateful if i can just stick to it fer one dae....it just dun werk fer me...just hope dat the cuming year will be better and i can realli live life to the fullest....no more procrastination...(as u can see from updating my blog...) hee...

cheerios~!!

ends at 10:35 AM